Top 10 Reasons Why Kinect is Worth $149.99
by Andrew Galbraith
Since Microsoft finally got around to pricing Kinect, I felt it was time to take a moment, step back and really absorb what the hell exactly we were looking at as an overall package to assess really whether or not it is worth $100 bucks. Why do I say $100? Simple. By including Kinect Adventures in the bundle for people who already own an Xbox and titles for the motion detecting camera retailing on Amazon for roughly $50 dollars, why wouldn’t I think that? Besides, for the underlying offering, this seems to be how much those games should cost as a proper price point. But are the games the only reason why? Hell no they’re not. While I do plan on picking up a PlayStation 3 bundle when Move releases in September so I can stop hijacking my brother’s console, I’m very interested to see both the Sony and Microsoft approach to motion controls for myself. Despite a vast diversion between people who like motion controls and hate them, I like to think that I find myself somewhere in the “Meh Region”, where as long as it feels good, I’m happy. So, while I can’t justify Kinect at $150, I can certainly try and do it at $100. Why?
10. Because Microsoft was smart enough to include a game: This is first and foremost the greatest factor that contributes to the actual pricing of the product, which you can clearly see in the title. It is also extremely damn intelligent on the part of Microsoft. After all, it’d be difficult enough to sell this thing if it was $150 outright with absolutely zero incentive for anyone who bought it since all they’d be able to do is hook it up and do some cool stuff at the dashboard – yeah, because that wouldn’t get old really fast. Point being, by tossing a game in, even if it is Kinect Adventures, it shows that Microsoft has been straightening up and actually listening to the internet when in the wake of E3 everyone was doing nothing but bitching and complaining about how everything involving this thing was little more than a glorified technical demo. Oh, and if you pre-order it, you get three additional maps that can’t be found anywhere else. That’s pretty cool, right?
9. Visual recognition: Discussing Kinect in-depth with people who aren’t necessarily as savvy about video games as you, me or any one of a hundred internet trolls, it becomes apparent within a brief span of time that consumers are excited for this thing. Despite how much I’ve complained about the future getting here and how awesome it better be when it does, I still think it’s pretty cool that I can walk up to my 360 and it’ll know enough to pop my profile up, readying itself for a nice round of gaming or two. While it does have a bit of a creepy tinge to it in a HAL 9000 kind of way, I’m too distracted by how impressive it is.
8. It knows how fat you are: Speaking of knowing you a bit too well, this is one of the double-edged swords that I think Kinect is going to bring to the households that have gamers who have a bit too many pounds on their waistlines yet. When asked about the fitness title that Microsoft showed off at E3, it was pretty terrifying showing it to my girlfriend. Personally, I thought she’d be bored with it since she’s actually a pretty awesome gamer when I think about it. She never really connected with Wii Fit, but would rather play games that people more involved in the community would prefer. But she loves the idea of me using this damn game to get in shape and it would only cost $50 bucks for the game. Neglecting of course to mention that it’ll cost $150 for the system and Kinect Adventures anyway – but since I’m getting this for work, heck it wouldn’t hurt to buy that as well and lose a few pounds since it’d be less per year than a gym membership. Nevertheless, one I get that, Kinect is going to scan me so it can get an accurate image of my body. I can save you all some suspense: Fat. Seriously. I have my own climate, I’m aware of it. But, sadly, there is a point to be made about a game that could offer something a bit more immersive than Wii Fit. After all, if it doesn’t work, there’s always KFC.
7. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words: Despite all things, it’s still pretty cool that Microsoft included features with the Kinect instead of taking away the functionality of the already standard Vision Camera. Sincerely, if Microsoft went out of their way to create a product that did motion control and everything that entails just to remove my ability to use my 360 in the same way I use a webcam, I would be pretty pissed. Granted, there are nights where Xbox Live can be more Chatroulette than gaming service, but good lord does it ever make Uno interesting. Additionally, during many of the games shown at E3, they’ll be able to take your picture and instantly upload them to Facebook. Certainly, there will be dissenters who won’t want this to happen when they jump or do silly things. This is easily taken care of. Don’t tell them its coming and enjoy it all the more when you post the images to the Facebook – just claim ignorance and watch the chaos ensue.
6. Show Me Your Moves: Being one of the few overweight people I know who can adequately bust a move with the best of them, I have no choice but to reveal that it’s because of years being forced to play DDR on the higher difficulty settings. Suffice to say, my friends wouldn’t let me play on Easy, on any game, ever. While some people would believe this would simply make me a better gamer, it has since actually warped me to the point that I play most of my games on Hard, even if they beat me mercilessly into submission – because it kind of makes me a better player, I think. Anyway, being able to dance, even in the comfort of my own home seems like it might actually be a good time. And, with Harmonix at the helm on this one, there is absolutely no excuse in the world why I should expect this game to be setting itself up for failure. Simply said, I would rather give a game a chance that is riskier in design than something I’ve played a million times before. Nevertheless, if I get to shake my ass a bit in the process, all the better.
5. Going for a Drive: I like driving. Hell, I love it. There is nothing in the world like being behind the wheel of a powerful machine that can tear across the road as hard as it can grip it. And really, after sitting behind the vehicle of things like a Lamborghini Diablo or an Aston Martin Vanquish S, it is a bit like crashing down from a really amazing high when I hop into my Toyota Yaris. On the other hand, there’s some kick ass gas mileage there, then again, it’s the size of a clown car. That’s why I’m actually excited for the tech demo that the guys behind Forza showed off at E3 this year because, without a doubt, they know their stuff. So, even if I can’t step out to my garage every morning and run a diaper gently across the body of a sexy car just yet, which is all the more agonizing when you know how they drive, Kinect is the next best alternative. Despite Kinect’s inability to replicate the feeling of leather that has been warmed gently by the sun, that deliciously sweet new car smell or the blond haired chick with the great big intellect that would be attracted to such a machine, it’s a convincing doppelganger all the same. And realistically, factor in insurance, fuel cost along with upkeep and Kinect is a relatively great experiencing at almost a hundredth the price. In the meantime, we can all keep dreaming.
4. Remote Possibilities: While Microsoft has already come out and said a majority of their hit titles will not be compatible with Kinect, that doesn’t mean there isn’t any hope at all for the future. Games like Halo and Gears of War seem too cool for school and will remain accessible via a gamepad only much to the comfort of the more competitive gamers in the Xbox community. Thankfully, Fable III is slated to include some sort of integration with Kinect and whatever it is, I’m pretty intrigued. Not so much because I have some unholy desire to flair my arms about like an idiot, but because I would like to see something original in a video game. Whether or not it works, it can be said that they as developers gave it their best shot to deliver an experience that gamers hadn’t seen before. So sure, I can pay $60 for a game experience I’ve played before when Halo: Reach or Gears 3 comes out and sure enough, I will. But I’m also throwing down for Kinect since I’m anxious to do something with my 360 I haven’t necessarily done before.
3. Technology and Laziness Seamlessly Converge: During the week, I work roughly 60 to 80 hours and that doesn’t even include the extra work I take on during the weekend. So when I have a chance to be lazy, trust me, I’m the first one to step up and relax a little bit. There’s an old saying, “Sit if you can avoid standing and lie down if you can avoid sitting.” I can’t think of anyone this would be more apropos to that myself. So when Microsoft showed off the increased seamlessness that Kinect offered in navigating the dashboard, movies and ESPN functionalities, I was the first one to sit up, mouth agape in amazement. Never before had something allowed me to be so lazy. If it works like Microsoft prescribes it to and can detect me on the couch, I will be nesting in from of my Kinect camera like a bear hibernating during the winter. Not because deep down I think doing just enough to get by is okay, but because I work my ass off and if shelling out a bit of money will ultimately allow me to be even more comfortable when relaxing than I was previous, all the freaking better.
2. Peter Molyneux’s Milo & Me: Our society has come a long way, but there is always going to be an odd discomfort that comes from a machine, digital or physical, displaying human characteristics. This isn’t because we as a race are afraid of technological advancement so much as films like Terminator and 2001 have instilled us with the belief that the minute we grow complacent with our machines, they’re going to f-king off us. Milo was shown last year at E3 and made my jaw drop in amazement. How could something so cool exist? Sure, he has a small violent stream, which includes killing a digital fly. But this is the attempt to create an interactive personality within the confines of a television and so far it looks to be pretty damn awesome. As all the functions haven’t been shown yet, there is still a chance we may never see Milo, but that would just be disappointing – if not a vicious tease on the part of Microsoft and Lionhead. And really, what would you rather do: Spend $150 to have a Kinect and Milo or just have a kid? Your call.
1. Hanging out with Skittles in Kinectimals: I hate to admit how self-serving this is, but I really do want a baby tiger jumping around the monitor that’s hooked up next to my computer screen in my office. Even if all it is doing is sleeping while I’m doing other work, I think that would be so cool. Because I know that there is absolutely no chance that suburban Illinois will never be cool with me owning a baby tiger for no other reason that eventually it’ll grow up into a big tiger. Then the neighbors will call, complain and I’ll have to send my tiger to Africa, my fictitious vineyard in France or just move to some country that is friendlier to the oversized felines, like Canada. On the other hand, looking at the cost of tigers, vineyards and the country of Canada, I might just be happier occasionally petting my digital pet and calling it a day. Yes, I know it’s the advanced version of a Tamagotchi, but really, I don’t care. I want my tiger and Kinectimals is the only place to get it!
